As the circus turns for South Carolina, every last adult in the Democrat Party has apparently left the parade.
You have Pete Buttigieg exploiting a 9-year-old child’s “sexual” identity in front of thousands of spectators — for his own political benefit.
The ex-mayor of South Bend, Indiana, actually turned the whole spectacle into a campaign commercial. Where were that child’s parents? Where was his pediatrician?
As I said, there are no adults left over there.
Then you have Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who seemingly lies about everything she ever talks about.
She lies to get her Harvard job. She lies about her ethnicity. She lies about how much all the free stuff she promises to give out will cost. There is nothing the woman will not say just to get her greedy little white hands on all your money and the levers of control in Washington.
Never is it more obvious that all the adults have left the room than when every Democrat candidate on the debate stage is squirming to their tiptoes, raising their hands as high as they can go and waving them to get called on by one of the debate moderators.
I say there are no adults left. Except for former Vice President Joe Biden. He is not a child, but he is headed for the diaper aisle. His plugs are wound a little too tight these days. He is slipping but at least still has the wits to escape from the old folks home.
Somebody needs to put out a Silver Alert.
And then there is Sen. Bernie Sanders. You have heard how China is the “sick man” of the world? Well, Mr. Sanders is the “sick man” of the Democrat Party.
Everybody is scrambling to get away from him. They should all wear face masks for the next debate.
A quick aside: The only argument against Manifest Destiny — that God has smiled on America since her founding — is that we wound up sharing a hemisphere with China, thus sharing a winter flu season.
Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. There are no adults left in the Democrat Party and “Sick Man” Sanders is running away with the nomination.
After three years of lectures about Russian meddling in U.S. elections and how President Trump is a Kremlin puppet, the Democrats’ solution is — literally to turn control of America over to a socialist who oozes sympathy and admiration for communist dictators who kill people the world over.
Now comes former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, who has never been a child. Actually, he scares children. Sometimes, he likes to throw them up against the wall and frisk them for no reason.
Anything he wants, he just buys. So far, he has spent close to a half-billion dollars buying the Democrat Party. All the party Big Wigs are eager to hand him control. Anything to keep “Sick Man” Sanders from taking over.
And just like that, Mr. Bloomberg loses his adulthood. He becomes a child for the first time in his life.
After a decade-and-a-half telling us that New York streets were a war zone and “stop and frisk” was the only way to save black lives, he now gets bullied into apologizing for it.
He would have been far smarter to defend the practice. Admit there might have been problems with it, but become indignant when pressed and vow to never apologize for saving black lives.
As for his miserable debate performance last week, Mr. Bloomberg should have just come out the next day and said, “You know, honestly, I was stunned. I was simply not prepared for the level of stupidity that these people have all stooped inside the Democrat Party. I aim to study up on all these absolutely moronic issues and platforms for the next debate. It is not always easy to be the only adult in the room.”
Far and away, the best moment of Mr. Bloomberg’s first debate was his zinger on Sick Man: “What a wonderful country we have. The best-known socialist in the country happens to be a millionaire with three houses.”
Mr. Bloomberg needs to grow up, channel his inner adulthood, stick to zingers like that and forget all the pandering.
It’s all so childish, Mini Mike. Don’t be scared. Be a man. Stand tall. Or, at least, as “tall” as you can.
• Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or @charleshurt on Twitter.